Benjamin Moore Co.,

You don’t know me but I have a proposition for you. You see, I am a stay-at-home mom of four kids. Although most of my time is devoted to homeschooling them, being a wife to my husband, blogging, and taking care of the household, I actually have my own interests and hobbies. One of which is home decor. We’ve owned six homes in our 15 years of marriage and have painted the interiors of all of them. Always using Benjamin Moore colors. I love Benjamin Moore paint. It covers completely and wears well. That said, I believe you are in need of my services. I am proposing that you hire me to name any new colors you have coming down the line. Why me? For these reasons:

• I can work from home. Just Fed Ex me the colors and I will name them and send/email them back straight away. No need for an office or computer. I’ve got that covered. I’m willing to work part-time, on an on-demand type basis. Just think of the money you’d save.

• I’ve always received good grades in English class. I own both a dictionary and thesaurus. I’m a great speller. Just in case, I’ve also got spell check. No worries.

• I’m in love with everything New England and from the sea. I know many of your colors are beach inspired and I’m all about that.

• Since I now live in the ruralness-that-is-Idaho, I am becoming familiar with the varied shades of tan, taupe, brown and the dappled gray of the prairie in case BM is inspired to create a collection of sagebrushy colors in the future. I’m your go-to woman.

• Being a parent, I also have the experience to name a collection of colors to connect with the family crowd looking for just the right shade for the nursery or the playroom/family room/office. Imagine Slumbering Love or Inner Chi.

• And, to be honest without sounding rude, you’ve got some names in your collection that perplex me a little. Take for instance Snugglepuss BM 1405. Really? Snugglepuss? Not sure that’s one I would want to pass along to a friend. And what about Groundhog Day BM 1166? I’m imagining the deadline for naming this shade was looming and someone quick jotted down the movie they were watching on late night cable that weekend. Sound about right? Oh, and if you do hire me, can I name the colors a question? Like BM 752 How Blue Am I? Just in case I’m feeling a little depressed and can’t think of anything else, a question might work. Just let me know.

I think that pretty much sums it up. I’m the ideal candidate for the job. Feel free to contact me so we can discuss the details. I look forward to hearing from you. Right now I’m off to water my verdant lawn while the crystalline sun is mid horizon in the cerulean sky.

Sincerely,

Wendy