Quiet. Shy. A Peacemaker. A Pleaser.
That’s how I’d describe myself growing up. Since having 4 kids, being their advocate when dealing with teachers, medical specialists and school administration, and moving around a lot, I’ve come out of my shell. My family would agree that I’ve become opinionated. And fortunately (or not) I’m not afraid to share these opinions. I generally try to keep my opinion sharing to a minimum because I inevitably offend someone along the way. But today I am bugged. And I’m choosing to share. Lucky you.
As I was driving home from the gym before dawn this morning, I was listening to talk radio. The topic was Alex Rodriguez. And how it’s come out that he tested positive for steroids back in 2003.
Now, first of all, we’re not into professional sports around here. At all. My husband doesn’t watch pro football or baseball or basketball. He’s too busy running, biking, or swimming to sit and watch a game. Our family doesn’t have a favorite sports team. We don’t watch the Super Bowl or the World Series or the NBA finals. The boys would rather play outside or make a fort than watch a game on TV. In fact, the only sports we enjoy are local middle school and high school games. And the Olympics. Basically sports where the athletes don’t get paid an exorbitant amount of money.
So this news about Mr. Rodriguez didn’t faze me. But as I listened to the program I learned that this guy had requested an interview with Katie Couric back in 2007 where he swore he had never taken performance enhancing drugs. Followed by a caller explaining how disappointed her son was to hear this news because he greatly admired this guy and remembered watching that interview with Katie Couric when he swore he’d never taken steroids.
I got to thinking. What kind of role models do our kids have? What is our role as parents in influencing what kind of people our kids look up to and admire?
So when I came home this morning to get the kids up and off to school, I talked to each one separately.
Me (as I was straightening her hair): Who’s your role model?
Maddy (peering suspiciously up at me): Ummm….you?… Is that the right answer?
Me: There’s no right answer. And I’m not fishing for you to say me. C’mon. Who do you admire and look up to?
Maddy: Well, I really like Taylor Swift. She’s a really good person and I love her voice.
“OK”, I thought. ” That’s not too bad. I better remember to Google her later though, just to make sure.” Then I cornered Erik as he was putting on his shoes.
Me: Erik, who is your role model? Who do you want to be like when you grow up?
Erik: You. (smiling up at me)
What is going on? Do my kids really think I need a self confidence boost?
Me: You don’t have to say me, Honey. Who do you admire?
Erik: (thinking…) Jack. He’s almost always nice to me.
Me: That’s awesome, Honey. Is there anyone famous?
Erik: No. They’re all singers and I don’t want to be a singer. I’d get stage fright.
Later, as I was doing a “clean teeth check”, I asked Jack the same thing.
Jack: Nobody.
Me: Are you sure? There’s nobody that you admire?
Jack: Nope. We have to GO or we’ll miss the bus!
Morning is Jack’s arch nemesis. I’ll ask him after school. In third grade he did his hero project on Ben Franklin and he named Bill Gates (he admires money makers) and Abe Lincoln as people he wanted to be like, in the past.
And just now I asked Will.
Me: Who do you want to be like when you grow up?
Will: A Jedi! (Of course)
Not a single professional athlete made the list. Is that because my kids aren’t into professional sports? Is that because we as parents aren’t into professional sports? Is it because the kids are just too young to admire those athletes?
I think it’s a little of each. But I do think we have a responsibility to our kids to talk with them about what qualities make a good role model. To share with them who our own role models are and why. And also to talk to them about the disparity between many of the role models in today’s media and the unfortunate actions of those individuals. How our country’s skewed value system is illustrated by the outrageous discrepancy between professional athletes’ salaries and those of true heroes like quality teachers, emergency personnel, nurses, and servicemen and women, etc…
The media is to blame for much of this. So I’m grateful for the rare occasion when the media vultures hone their sites on true heroes like Captain Chesley Sullenberger. A man who was calm and prepared when he had to be and who was concerned with others before himself. A humble and compassionate man with unquestionable integrity. Who, with all the media blitz and chaos, quietly contacted the public library to tell them the book he had checked out had been lost in the crash and then offered to pay for it. What a great example of someone who went above and beyond what was expected of him. A true hero.
So I guess my point with this long-winded and more-serious-than-usual post has not much to do with Mr. Rodriguez. It has more to do with our role as parents in influencing what kinds of people our kids want to become. Kids mimic what they see. Are we emulating good values? Are we spending time talking to them about the people they see in the media or in the community? Do they realize how skewed the media is and how it really isn’t a reflection of reality? Do they understand the value of integrity?
Today’s thoughts brought to you by early morning XM Talk Radio.
So, there you go. I shared. I may have offended. Maybe not. But hopefully I sparked a few thoughts of your own. I plan on bringing it all up at the dinner table tonight.
Who do your kids admire? Do you know?
