I’m not sure how you found me but thank you, Emily Jensen, for featuring my “Someday…” post as your Mini Moment in today’s Deseret News Mormon Times Bloggernacle. I’m giddy!
Have a wenderful weekend!
Archive for January, 2009
Giddy
January 30, 2009Faking it…
January 29, 2009
One good thing came of the trainwreck this week.
I spent some time at the second hand store searching for costume accessories. Hey, if I was going to hack my way through the song, at least I could look good doing it. Second-hand stores are not on my normal shopping route, although with this economy I’m seriously reconsidering. I lucked out and went on “Blue Tag Monday”. All blue tag items were 99 cents. Unlike my sister, I’m a horrible bargain shopper. I have a hard time seeing the value unless it’s regular price. I think it’s a genetic predisposition to getting ripped off. Consequently I ended up with only one blue tag item.
When I got home, I modeled my outfit for the kids. To which Maddy said,
“Wow Mom, you look like a 50s trophy wife. Keep it on until Dad gets home!”
Dinner had to be made and I felt pretty self conscious wearing pearls around my neck, a scarf around my head, and pink rubber gloves while browning the ground turkey. So, I changed back into my jeans and sweatshirt. I hung up my costume and set aside my accessories. All except for one.
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My 99 cent pair of reading glasses.
I kinda liked them.
Of course I couldn’t see a darn thing so I popped out the lenses and wore them out to the kitchen to make dinner.
And I wore them to eat dinner.
In fact I wore them all evening.
I’m wearing them right now!
I really like them!
It reminds me of the time when I was in 8th grade and I bought a pair of fake glasses and wore them to classes. I felt cerebral. Like I was taken a little more seriously. Like I might get better grades if I looked like I should. I think I might have even studied a little harder with those beauties on. If you stretched…just a little… maybe I could attribute my acceptance to BYU to my fake eyewear. OK, that’s a stretch.
I haven’t had the courage to wear them out of my house yet, although I might give it a try down at our dinky supermarket in town. I never see anyone I know there. Probably because it always smells like old chicken and it’s reserved strictly as a last resort desperation destination. (WHEN are they going to build the new grocery store, people!?!)
In the meantime I’ve come up with a list of situations when these lovely little glasses could come in handy:
- At the library when faced with an extensive late fee bill. “Ma’am, I’m quite certain I saw that book in the kid’s room just this morning. I will bring it by when I bring back my copy of “Man’s Search for Meaning”.
- At the boy’s school. “Why yes Mrs. H, I did homeschool the kids the last couple of years. We studied marsupials extensively and I think you were wrong when you marked #3 incorrect. A koala is indeed a marsupial.”
- At the car dealer. “I’m sorry. I’m quite aware that the car industry is going through, shall we say, a serious crisis. You got a better price for me Sir, or should I just leave now and stop wasting both our time?”
- At Home Depot. “Excuse me, would you be a doll and point me in the direction of the half inch Impact Wrenches with Rocker Switches and Detent Pin Socket Retention?”
- At home when the door-to-door salesman comes by selling that magic spray in a bottle that I’ve been suckered into one too many times. “I know what you’re doing here Mister! You’ve got some illegally strong chemical in that bottle of yours that will take the siding off my house if I let you. What I get in exchange for handing over my “Wicked Tickets Fund” is a diluted jug of lemonade that will frustrate me to no end as I rub my fingers bloody in an attempt to remove pencil doodles from my delicate white wainscoting. And there’s no way I’ll believe that all those forged signatures on your tattered list represent my gullible friends and neighbors. No way, no how will I be suckered again! And don’t come back!”
I apologize to anyone who really has to wear reading glasses. The grass has always seemed greener on the other side of your fence. I’m sure one day I’ll be able to hop on over and find out for myself. But for now, I’ll take advantage of my 99 cent bargain! (That is, unless Maddy swipes them from me again. What is she? In 8th grade or something? Sheesh!)
Happy Thursday
The Trainwreck…
January 28, 2009Whew! It’s OVER!
I’ll be more careful about accepting “thesbian service opportunities” in the future.
As the curtain opened last night, who did I see but my husband and kids sitting in the back row…
With a CAMERA!
I was too consumed with nerves before I left to consider the possibility of my family coming to see what all my fussing was about.
So, the trainwreck was captured on film.
And just so you know I was not exaggerating about my lack of stage and singing skillz, here’s a snippet of last night’s “performance”. The fact that I’m hard to hear is really just as well. Trust me. (I think the voice crack at the end of the song tops it all off, don’t you?)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPr8o-h29Hc]
Ahhhh well. I’m just glad it’s over.
Back to life…
Happy Wednesday!
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A special thanks to Jamie over at Pineapples & Olives for this sweet award. Even though she’s just getting started with her blog , she’s always generous with enthusiastic comments on mine. Call me a comment glutton, but I love anyone who’s generous with the comments. Stop in and share a little encouragement with her.
Elaine over at A Wink and a Smile also bestowed this award on my humble blog. Thanks Elaine! She was one of my first bloggy friends when we discovered we had lots in common, including homeschooling. Now, we have both taken the public school plunge once again. Stop by her blog. She’s facing jaw surgery soon and could use a little comment love.
I'm Going to He** in a Handbasket…
January 27, 2009
I’m Going to He** in a handbasket…
Tonight…
At precisely 7:00…
On the stage of our church…
(Get there early for good seats)
It’s going to be a trainwreck.
The women of our church meet once a month on a Tuesday night for a little inspiration, instruction, and calorie-laden dessert. This month our topic is cleaning and organizing. I was asked to teach a mini-class on organization. I deferred, claiming I’m not really very organized. Truth be told, I’d rather stick a fork in my eyeball than speak in public. So, she politely asked me if I’d be interested in playing a small part in a skit instead.
Now, in my head I was picturing the monthly cub scout pack meeting skits. You know, the 15 second spot where the boys pretend to eat trail mix and find out it’s really bunny droppings, or something along those lines. A quick skit with a line or two from all participants.
So, I said, “Sure, I’d be happy to help out…that doesn’t count as public speaking, right?” With a glint in her eye and a polite smile she left.
I took the copy of the skit and being the procrastinator that I am, I set it aside.
I finally picked it up last week to read through.
HOLY TOLEDO! My part is HUGE! And, the worst part?
(drum roll….)
I have to sing!
SOLO!
A CAPELLA!
FREAKING OUT. STILL. A WEEK LATER!!!
I’d rather stick a fork, two knives, and a screwdriver in both eyes, naked, than sing in public!!! (OK, maybe not the naked part). The last time I sang a solo? Never. Ever. The last time I sang in a choir? Never. Ever. The last time I sang in front of my family? Last night. Because I had to practice. Whereupon I heard:
“Why did they pick you for this part?”
“Oh, you sound really baaaad, Mom”.
“Promise me you’ll never do that again.”
And the ultimate insult:
“Dad sings better than you.” !!!
I’m not sure why she chose me for the part. In real life I’m quiet and reserved and I’m a backseat kind of a girl. Is she exacting her revenge on me for forgetting to bring the funeral potatoes to the last funeral? Could be. In any case, it’s too late to bow out. I’m doomed.
As I’ve been contemplating this unfortunate fate of mine, I had to make a decision.
Do I mumble through the song quietly and timidly hoping nobody notices that I’m trying to sing and run the risk of people thinking, “Wow, that was lame.” Or do I power it out loudly in the spirit of William Hung, overly dramatic hand gestures and all, and run the risk of people thinking, “Wow, I wonder if she actually thinks she’s a good singer“.
I’m going for the latter. It will be a disaster either way. At least this way, I’ll make a big impression and everyone will remember never to invite me to do anything on stage. Ever. Again.
So, if you get there tonight and I’m nowhere to be found, check for missing forks, knives and screwdrivers. Maybe I’ll get lucky…
My script is calling…
Happy Tuesday!
"Luke…I am your Fahtah"…
January 25, 2009I never thought I’d have boys, let alone three of them. They are all completely different and extraordinary and challenging and perplexing and fascinating in their own ways. One of them could spend the entire day at home making Legos and claymation movies. One thinks the ideal school day would involve NO recess. And the last one breathes, dreams, and lives all things…
STAR WARS!!!
As a child of the 70s and 80s I remember when the first three Star Wars movies came out. In fact I think I celebrated my 7th birthday with a few of my friends in the theater watching the original. Since my childhood, apparently three more Star Wars movies (not including the Clone Wars) have been released. I guess I’ve been a little preoccupied with life and kids and adulthood to know anything about these last three movies. Will received the entire collection from his dad for his 4th birthday and has been …shall we say … a little obsessed ever since.
Since he and I hang out on a regular basis, I’ve been on the receiving end of much Star Wars trivia this last year. I’ve become intimately familiar with Darth Maul, General Grievous, Padme, Jar Jar Binks, Count Dooku, Jango Fett and Boba Fett, just to name a few. I can’t say I’m a fan of these last three movies. I rather prefer the original pair of Chewbacca and Han Solo. And truth be told, The Notebook would be my first choice any day. But be it as it may, since Will is such a fan, I’ve developed a soft spot in my heart for Anakin Skywaker (”who was good and was a pod racer liked Padme and trained to be a Jedi but turned to the dark side and got evil and turned into Darth Vader who is a bad guy”).
Here’s a quick glimpse at what I get to listen to all day long as I hang out with my favorite Jedi Master wannabe…
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUHcAlQ_ft4&feature=channel_page]
Hope your weekend was Wonderful!
It's Never Too Early For a Little Survivor…
January 22, 2009
Dear Fitness Instructor,
WHAT was THAT all about this morning? I’ve been coming to this class for 6 months now and it’s never been THIS hard!
I will cut you some slack because I know you were just subbing. Perhaps Cheryl failed to explain the intricacies of our 5:30 AM Strength Training class in Studio B upstairs. Perhaps she didn’t tell you that there’s a certain tried and true procedure we follow every Tuesday and Thursday morning. That Elaine always hands out the towels, Mike wears his red nylon shorts on Tuesdays and his orange terry cloth headband on Thursdays, and I’m always 5 minutes late to class. That we warm up to an instrumental of Eye of the Tiger. Perhaps she didn’t tell you the order of muscle groups we work. That squats always come first, followed by chest, followed by lunges. That we do the exact same number of reps to the exact same songs. Every. Single. Time. That we NEVER stray from the routine. EVER.
OK, I will admit that I haven’t been to class in, say, 6 weeks. But with Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and New Years, and back to school, and staying up late, a new season of 24, and snow, and rain, and darkness, and a warm bed, and blogging, I’ve been kind of busy. But I made the excrutiating effort to wake up at 4:45 this morning and brave the cold winds to make the 20 minute drive to attend your class. Only to be bombarded with quasi-yoga posing and fitness ball balancing, rear burning leg lifts and impossible core exercises.
Normally if I find I’m not quite up to task, I can fake it. A wholly believable exercise fake is truly an art. But I can do it. Usually. Until this morning. What’s with the plank on a single toe and a single elbow with a twist to the side and a count of 20? How can I fake something like that? And all that yoga mumbo jumbo at the end? A downward dog and a lotus? Couldn’t we just touch our toes, and stretch from side to side, like we always do? I’m pretty partial to a deep knee bend, a cleansing breath and a “pat yourselves on the back, you had a great workout” with a few customary claps at the end.
Isn’t it part of your job to adjust your routine to match the skill level of the class? Wasn’t the fact that we were all lying flat on the floor gaping at your yoga prowess with wide eyes and open mouths a pretty good indicator that there may have been a great discrepancy between your skill level and ours? I hate to make assumptions, but, you know, it just seemed to me to be the case.
As I write this I am beginning to feel the effects of this morning’s torture. I’ll make a point not to take in too many fluids today as I’m not sure I’ll have the muscle coordination to get up from off the toilet. And the upstairs will just have to wait for another visit from me for a couple of days weeks.
As much as I can appreciate “changing it up a little” from time to time, I’m looking forward to next week when Cheryl will be back with her regular 80s mixed tape, her hand weights and her comfortably regular routine. Because, truth be told, one can never get enough of “Eye of the Tiger”.
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Thanks to Jennifer at Tatertots and Jello and to my mom at Quincy Cottage for this sweet award. Jennifer is off to Maui for a getaway trip with her husband but you can enter to win her ISLAND GIVEAWAY on Friday. And drop by Quincy Cottage and welcome my mom to the world of blogging. She’s been stuck at home with pneumonia for 2 weeks and would love some visitors. (She has a super cute house too.)
Someday…
January 21, 2009
Someday I’ll wake up and not have little toothbrushes to put away…
Someday, I won’t have damp pink towels to hang up…
Someday I won’t have elfin shoes to hunt for in the corners of my house…
Someday my windows won’t have crayon dogs drawn on them…
Someday I won’t have a playroom strewn with Legos…
Someday I won’t have wee pajamas lying on my laundry room floor…
I hope that day is a long way off…
Happy Wednesday.
Happy Inauguration Day…
January 20, 2009
Last night to prepare for this historic day our family discussed a little politics, a bit of history, some social issues and found a few random facts about Barack Obama.
Did you know:
- His favorite meal is wife Michelle’s shrimp linguini
- He plans to install a basketball court in the White House grounds
- He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid, having ditched his gas-guzzling Chrysler 300 SUV
- He promised Michelle he would quit smoking before running for president – he didn’t
- He is left-handed – the sixth post-war president to be left-handed
- He has his hair cut once a week by his Chicago barber, Zariff, who charges $21
- His favorite artist is Pablo Picasso
We all seem to have plenty of ideas of what President Obama should do once he’s sworn into office:
And of course we talked about Martin Luther King Jr. and the significance of these two historical figures.
Happy Presidential Inauguration day!
Historic Day…
January 19, 2009
For us, every Monday night is Family Night. We usually have a short lesson, sing songs, play games, and have a treat. Sometimes I’m well prepared and the evening goes smoothly and sometimes I’m flying by the seat of my pants. It’s much more effective and enjoyable when I’m prepared though.
I was thrilled when, as I was scrolling through my daily blogroll, I came upon Sally’s post on Inauguration Day. I love Sally. She is smart, funny, kind, and organized. She’s put together a family night game plan that I plan to use tonight. I was so thrilled that I wanted to share her post with anyone who might be looking for a way to share this historic day with their kids.
Happy Martin Luther King Monday!
Friends, Fifth-wheels, and Unagi
January 18, 2009Yeah! Our good friends from California meandered their way past the farmsteads and pastures to visit us this weekend. We gave them a tour of our “quaint” town and talked, and talked, and talked. It was wonderful. We hope the ruralness didn’t scare them too much and that they’ll come back again.
What does a date night consist of when you live where we do? Sometimes we trek out to the big grocery store and stock up for the week. Anti-climatic, I know. But practical. Sometimes we do the typical dinner and a movie. No matter where you live, I think a cinema can be found, even around here. And sometimes we pick up chinese food and watch the latest Netflix movie.
This weekend we decided to forego the norm and do something more befitting our locale.
We hit the local RV Show!
We saw pop-up campers, swanky cruise buses, tear drop campers, toy haulers, fifth wheels, luxury travel trailers, and even some tent trailer hybrids. There were deals to be made and cheesy salesmen to make them. But in the end we decided we could stay in some pretty nice hotels many times over for the price we’d have to pay to sleep in the same spot we’d spent all day traveling in.
So we left the world of RVing behind, hopped in our Tahoe and went out for sushi.
Happy MLK weekend!