Remember a few weeks back when I went to H-E-double hockey sticks in a hand basket? And how the one good thing that came out of that experience was my love affair with a thrift store pair of lenseless reading glasses? Well, it seems my affinity towards faking it has rubbed off on some of my offspring. Here’s how it went down at the dinner table this evening:
Erik: Mom, I’m afraid I need glasses.
Me: Why?
Erik: Well, my eyes don’t work sometimes. Like, at school when I look at something, it’s hard to stop looking at it.
Me: (fighting back a grin) Uh huh.
Erik: And also today when I looked at the board I saw a 3 and then the next time I looked, it turned into a 5.
Me: Do you think maybe your teacher’s handwriting was just too scribbly?
Erik: Maybe. But she said I should tell you to take me to the eye doctor and have him check them. The nurse checked them but I think I should go to a doctor.
Me: The school nurse checked them?
Erik: Uh huh. She said my eyes are perfect. But that was in January. (eye roll)
Me: Oh…….Well, do you want glasses?
Erik: Oh yeah! I really want them.
Me: Hmmmmmm. Well…… how about if we get you some glasses like mine? You don’t even have to go to the doctor that way.
Erik: OK! But only if we can find some that are rectangular. That’s the kind I want.
Me: Sure…
(Jack pipes up between bites of baked ziti.)
Jack: Well, I want to break my arm so I can have a cast like Peter’s that people can write on.
(Ralf and I staring blankly at each other)
Ralf: How about we don’t break your arm and you can just put a cast on it.
Jack: (thinking) Yeah. That’ll work.
Well, at least Jack was willing to legitimately earn the cast by breaking a bone. I guess all isn’t completely lost.
So if you see me in all my bespeckled glory toting a really short Darth Vader, a skinny little kid with rectangular glasses, and a cast-wielding 10 year old, do me a favor. Humor me and just play along. I’m sure it’s just a phase we’re going through. Together.
Your kids are so funny! I love the picture of Erik in those glasses. You won’t be hard to spot with Erik in those glasses, Jack in his fake cast and Darth Vader you in your fake glasses but I think Ralf should come to the table with his own unique spin on something! See you soon.
This made me laugh right out loud. Would Jack wear a hot pink cast too??
Great post, Wenderful!
So witty! My kids want glasses and crutches all the time—one even takes after me and wants a power scooter
Been missing your blog. Off to catch up now!
Lorena, he actually specified “pink” but I didn’t include that part in the post. He said pink was a boy color. Who knew?
Jennifer P, I’m on board with you about the power scooter. That’s a fantastic idea!
Mom, yeah we would be quite the sight traipsing down the aisles of Target together.
My youngest’s new kick is that she’s “sick.” She hears that someone else is feeling poorly, so she acquires an “empathetic illness.”
Oh my word, how funny! I used to want to break my arm…and then I did (not on purpose!). Totally not fun!
Every adult needs a healthy dose of pretend:)
[...] The swing deposited Erik onto the grass without warning. His wrist took the brunt of the fall. And, after two days of convincing his foolish parents that there really was something wrong with his arm, Rusty Dodge (remember him?) “branded” him with a broken wrist. And he’s been collecting signatures ever since. Like the hot pink? All his friends seem to. His popularity has skyrocketed. And his big brother is a tad jealous since he was willing to go to great lengths himself to acquire his own cast. [...]
[...] THIS post from over a year [...]