Remember a few weeks back when I went to H-E-double hockey sticks in a hand basket? And how the one good thing that came out of that experience was my love affair with a thrift store pair of lenseless reading glasses? Well, it seems my affinity towards faking it has rubbed off on some of my offspring. Here’s how it went down at the dinner table this evening:
Erik: Mom, I’m afraid I need glasses.
Me: Why?
Erik: Well, my eyes don’t work sometimes. Like, at school when I look at something, it’s hard to stop looking at it.
Me: (fighting back a grin) Uh huh.
Erik: And also today when I looked at the board I saw a 3 and then the next time I looked, it turned into a 5.
Me: Do you think maybe your teacher’s handwriting was just too scribbly?
Erik: Maybe. But she said I should tell you to take me to the eye doctor and have him check them. The nurse checked them but I think I should go to a doctor.
Me: The school nurse checked them?
Erik: Uh huh. She said my eyes are perfect. But that was in January. (eye roll)
Me: Oh…….Well, do you want glasses?
Erik: Oh yeah! I really want them.
Me: Hmmmmmm. Well…… how about if we get you some glasses like mine? You don’t even have to go to the doctor that way.
Erik: OK! But only if we can find some that are rectangular. That’s the kind I want.
Me: Sure…
(Jack pipes up between bites of baked ziti.)
Jack: Well, I want to break my arm so I can have a cast like Peter’s that people can write on.
(Ralf and I staring blankly at each other)
Ralf: How about we don’t break your arm and you can just put a cast on it.
Jack: (thinking) Yeah. That’ll work.
Well, at least Jack was willing to legitimately earn the cast by breaking a bone. I guess all isn’t completely lost.
So if you see me in all my bespeckled glory toting a really short Darth Vader, a skinny little kid with rectangular glasses, and a cast-wielding 10 year old, do me a favor. Humor me and just play along. I’m sure it’s just a phase we’re going through. Together.
