One good thing came of the trainwreck this week.
I spent some time at the second hand store searching for costume accessories. Hey, if I was going to hack my way through the song, at least I could look good doing it. Second-hand stores are not on my normal shopping route, although with this economy I’m seriously reconsidering. I lucked out and went on “Blue Tag Monday”. All blue tag items were 99 cents. Unlike my sister, I’m a horrible bargain shopper. I have a hard time seeing the value unless it’s regular price. I think it’s a genetic predisposition to getting ripped off. Consequently I ended up with only one blue tag item.
When I got home, I modeled my outfit for the kids. To which Maddy said,
“Wow Mom, you look like a 50s trophy wife. Keep it on until Dad gets home!”
Dinner had to be made and I felt pretty self conscious wearing pearls around my neck, a scarf around my head, and pink rubber gloves while browning the ground turkey. So, I changed back into my jeans and sweatshirt. I hung up my costume and set aside my accessories. All except for one.
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My 99 cent pair of reading glasses.
I kinda liked them.
Of course I couldn’t see a darn thing so I popped out the lenses and wore them out to the kitchen to make dinner.
And I wore them to eat dinner.
In fact I wore them all evening.
I’m wearing them right now!
I really like them!
It reminds me of the time when I was in 8th grade and I bought a pair of fake glasses and wore them to classes. I felt cerebral. Like I was taken a little more seriously. Like I might get better grades if I looked like I should. I think I might have even studied a little harder with those beauties on. If you stretched…just a little… maybe I could attribute my acceptance to BYU to my fake eyewear. OK, that’s a stretch.
I haven’t had the courage to wear them out of my house yet, although I might give it a try down at our dinky supermarket in town. I never see anyone I know there. Probably because it always smells like old chicken and it’s reserved strictly as a last resort desperation destination. (WHEN are they going to build the new grocery store, people!?!)
In the meantime I’ve come up with a list of situations when these lovely little glasses could come in handy:
- At the library when faced with an extensive late fee bill. “Ma’am, I’m quite certain I saw that book in the kid’s room just this morning. I will bring it by when I bring back my copy of “Man’s Search for Meaning”.
- At the boy’s school. “Why yes Mrs. H, I did homeschool the kids the last couple of years. We studied marsupials extensively and I think you were wrong when you marked #3 incorrect. A koala is indeed a marsupial.”
- At the car dealer. “I’m sorry. I’m quite aware that the car industry is going through, shall we say, a serious crisis. You got a better price for me Sir, or should I just leave now and stop wasting both our time?”
- At Home Depot. “Excuse me, would you be a doll and point me in the direction of the half inch Impact Wrenches with Rocker Switches and Detent Pin Socket Retention?”
- At home when the door-to-door salesman comes by selling that magic spray in a bottle that I’ve been suckered into one too many times. “I know what you’re doing here Mister! You’ve got some illegally strong chemical in that bottle of yours that will take the siding off my house if I let you. What I get in exchange for handing over my “Wicked Tickets Fund” is a diluted jug of lemonade that will frustrate me to no end as I rub my fingers bloody in an attempt to remove pencil doodles from my delicate white wainscoting. And there’s no way I’ll believe that all those forged signatures on your tattered list represent my gullible friends and neighbors. No way, no how will I be suckered again! And don’t come back!”
I apologize to anyone who really has to wear reading glasses. The grass has always seemed greener on the other side of your fence. I’m sure one day I’ll be able to hop on over and find out for myself. But for now, I’ll take advantage of my 99 cent bargain! (That is, unless Maddy swipes them from me again. What is she? In 8th grade or something? Sheesh!)
Happy Thursday
I used to wear a pair of Minnie Pearl costume cat-eye glasses, complete with rhinestones on them. I LOVED them. It’s like donning a superhero costume, or something: suddenly you’re you, but more
Hi I am visiting via SITS. This was a great post. I hope the hubby liked them too!
They are cute! Though I’m a bit jealous you don’t need to wear glasses regularly. It’s not quite so much fun when you *have* to!
When I had to get glasses in the sixth grade, I hated them so much I would hide them in a tree on my way to school.
Now, at 28, I rock my red frames all the time and I feel like a sexy librarian.
Weird how a few years can make all the difference.
I’m wearing reading glasses. Unfortunately mine have lenses. They also bear the sticky jelly fingerprints of a certain two-year-old who shall remain nameless.
My girls have a bunch of old sunglasses lying around w/missing lenses – think that’ll work?! I always thought people wearing glasses seemed smarter!
Great post! I always hated my glasses! I have a tiny nose and could never keep them in place without bending the ear pieces till they rubbed places behind my ears. Praise the day I finally got contact lenses!
Cute post and cute glasses!
LOL Loved this post! I think most of us have wanted what our friends have then when we have to wear glasses, braces, etc…it’s not so fun.
BTW the glasses look great on you! Happy SITS day!
They do look good. Now, I’m going to start looking at people wearing glasses to see if they have lenses!LOL Gotta know if they are just pretending.
I love those glasses. When I was 20 and lived in So Cal, I totally bought a pair a glasses, normal glass lenses because I have perfect vision, and wore them for a year! No one hardly knew me there so it was easy to pull off. I have to say I love the look and if you have to wear them, they might as well be stylish!
Hey! That cleaner salesman came to my house last year! Have you actually bought any? What is IN that stuff?
I like them, too.
I think you shoulkd wear them! Too funny! And everybody needs a good laugh!
That is very funny, but let me tell you, really needing glasses was much less fun! It happened when I hit 40, and now as 50 approaches I can at least wear contacts, because now the close up and the distance vision is going……..ah well!
My hubby thinks glasses are hot! I have a pair that make me feel too cool for school, and I don’t really even need them…. I didn’t get mine for 99cents though. That would put the hubby into a permenent grin:)
They look good on you though! You should definitely wear them out and then wait for the compliments to come.
I too had a fake pair in college but didn’t have the guts to wear them more than a couple of times. Hmmm, maybe I could find them in the basement
Senior year of high school I was voted “Biggest Yuppie” of my class (“is that really a category, you may ask?” Yes, it is, in the yuppie town I grew up in, in the California Bay Area). Anyway, I had recently acquired glasses and felt like quite the debutante with them on. So I had my picture taken for the coveted slot of Biggest Yuppie while sitting on the hood of my BMW and wearing my new glasses. What a geek! Now, I’m a minivan driving, soccer mom…
I hate glasses. I have worn them since I was 6 years old. I now need 4 pairs for various distances….ugh!
but you look very nice in your 99cent pair.
Happy SITS day!
I have fake glasses! and have for 7 years hehe LOVE them! and wear them when I need to use them
hehe
Those are fabulous glasses.
It does look good on you! Glad you found them! Coming in from SITS!
I enjoyed wearing my reading glasses for effect when I was a high school teacher. Fact was, they gave me headaches and made me a little dizzy when I wore them and tried to look at anything more than 24 inches from my face, but I felt it gave me an edge that said, “I know what I’m talking about and you punky 18 year-olds don’t intimidate me.”
And boy, do I love the thrift store.
You can totally take them to en eyewear place and have them put in plain lenses (no prescription). That might look a little less weird than just wearing empty frames. Great frames, though!
I’ve gotten suckered in by those cleaner-guys, too. I should have know when he licked the cleaner that it wasn’t really a product I wanted to use. I want my cleaners to be leathal.
I totally wear glasses for that same reason. Happy SITS day!
You have me feeling differently about my reading glasses. I had a very pretty friend who wore fake glasses to med school so she would be taken more seriously.
The glasses look great!
That is a way cute story. I hope you still wear the glasses.
I think you look amazing with or without the glasses!
While I don’t wear glasses, I feel ya on the response to the door-to-door salesman! One of ‘em even stole my “No Soliciting” sign. The nerve!
I have the same type of grocery store in my little town!
The glasses are great!
I have noticed alot of pople faking the glasses lately
happy SITS day
Cute! Very cute!
I wear glasses everyday – for distance. I don’t need them for reading.
I like my glasses. They allow me to make a personal statement right there on my face. Without using my facial muscles.
I wanted a pair of fake glasses when I was growing up, too!! my mom would never let me buy them, though!
Those glasses are totally cute! I’ve had glasses/contacts for close to 20 years and haven’t really found a pair I really like yet. Enjoy!
Oh those are cute glasses… and if it makes you feel any better, in the fifth grade, I faked not beign able to see so I could get glasses because I thought they were cool.
I love the colorful little reading glasses I pick up here and there!
I totally wear my glasses when I want people to take me seriously. Not only am I blond, but I have on of those little girl faces that makes me look like I can’t think right. ERk!
The only time it comes in handy is when I get pulled over. Who can ticket a dumb blond that “just doesn’t understand.” And who can resist the baby face with a dimple? LOL
you look super cute in those.
I;ve known several people who wear “fake” glasses and the funny thing is that they do look better in them! Haha!
I’ll trade you my glasses for your bangs. I stink at bangs.
Happy SITS day!
You totally should have stayed in the whole getup! I love the glasses though! Super cute!
great post. I love your blog.
Happy belated SITS day.
I know what you mean about the glasses. They make me feel smarter too.