Hello to everyone from Blog Around the World. Thanks, Debbie, for spotlighting this little blog of mine!

Sometimes a sinister black widow crawls out of the shadows of the garage and into my sneaker as I’m slumbering away in my bed. It waits for dawn when my unsuspecting stockinged foot settles into its well- worn comfort before taking a satisfying crunch on my little toe.

OK, so that hasn’t happened…yet. But, I mean, you just never know…

So, I’ve got a few irrational fears, don’t we all? Perhaps my writing them down will shed light on the absurdity of them. Or maybe not. But maybe you can relate.

1. Ladders I don’t have a problem with ladders as a whole. But of course my superstitious tendencies forbid me to walk under them. And may I just say that every time I frequent a Barnes & Noble in search of a particular book, what do I find standing smack dab in front of my pursuit? A ladder strategically placed so that I have to glance to my right, then to my left before nonchalantly reaching around or right through the ladder to reach my quest. Because I would hate to even imagine what fate would befall me if I were to place my entire self under that monstrosity. You just never know…
2. Being Buried Alive It was, like, 1982 or something and I was watching Cheers. I don’t recall where I was or what else was going on that day. All I remember is that the episode included a scene where the postman (what was his name? The guy in all the Pixar movies) went under the bar’s wooden floor to hide from someone. He was lying on his back facing up and could see through the cracks to the people standing on the floor. At that moment I was seized with a complete and utterly claustrophobic fear of being buried alive. To this day the thought of being dog-piled by my kids causes quick short breaths and a craving for a paper bag. I can’t imagine a scenario where I’d actually be buried alive, but, you just never know…
3. Cruise Ships Love Boat was my favorite show for many years. My sister and I enjoyed many late night weekends of Love Boat/Fantasy Island marathons. We couldn’t get enough of Julie’s feathered hair and Charo’s ukelele talent. We always wished we could join Doc for a night cap (whatever that was). But despite my Love Boat obsession, I hold a deep fear of cruise ships. It’s not that I wouldn’t love to go on a cruise someday, because I think it would be as lovely as the Pacific Princess. But, I just couldn’t take any kids with me. When I was younger I feared that if we ever went on a cruise as a family, my little sister would fall overboard into the menacing sea never to be seen again. And now that I’m an adult and much, much more rational I’m afraid my own kids would fall overboard into the menacing sea never to be seen again. I mean, if we ever did go on a cruise, I’d be so paranoid that the kids would never even have the chance to peer over the side to enjoy the beauty of that menacing ocean and they’d all be perfectly safe. But, I mean, you just never know…
4. Lawn Mowers OK, some people cringe at the sound of fingernails on chalkboards. Some toenails curl at the thought of a paper cut. Well, I get wiggy when I think about starting a lawn mower. Not the kind the neighbors here in Idaho have with the key that you turn and spend all Saturday riding around your pasture on listening to cheesy country twangs. No, I’m talking about the kind with the string that you have to yank with all your might only to have it pause on the upstart threatening your shoulder to dislodge from its socket and your hand to slip out if its grip on the little plastic T handle. That thought just makes me shudder. Again, quite irrational. My shoulder has never dislodged… yet. But, you just never know…
5. And last but not least…Enclosed water slides. It was about 1979 during an annual summer trip to Ogden to visit the relatives. My dad, aunt, sister, cousins, and I went to Cherry Hills water slides. Back in the day water slides were more or less simple, smooth, cement half pipes that went down a little hill with a couple of turns to a small pool. But this particular year Cherry Hills had a new slide. This one was enclosed. I’d never been on an enclosed water slide before. It looked awesome! We were excited to try it out so we all piled in line and waited our turn. My turn came and I strategically set my slick foam raft in place, lowered myself down and pushed off into the dark. It was going great at the beginning. There were a few twists and turns and the water was fairly warm. I thought this was pretty cool. Until a few more turns into it and my raft slowed down considerably. I discovered the stream of water had turned into a trickle. Not enough to propel one forward. I came to a halt halfway down. Being in the dark, and inside a tube, I didn’t know what to do. I sat for a few moments contemplating my options. I tried to scoot myself along with very little success. Just as I thought I might have to crawl down, I heard a sound. It got louder as the seconds ticked by. It sounded a lot like a train coming my way. Before I knew it I was hit by a body of water followed by a body of flesh. That momentum pushed us the rest of the way down the tunnel and we tumbled out the end in a scrambled ball of water, limbs, foam, Lycra, and a little blood (if I remember correctly). I believe that was the last enclosed water slide I ever “enjoyed”. I’m sure water slide technology has improved in the last 30 years and that they’ve refined the ratio of water to the velocity of moving bodies and that scenario would never happen in this day and age. But, I mean, you just never know…

Whew! I feel much better. OK, your turn. What are your irrational fears?

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